Pictures

1. The blue frosting was fun.
2. Miss Thang wants to go to school!
3. Can you see the title? "The Toddler Years"
4. Reading is serious business.
5. The positive lines, sorry bad pic.

So I was sitting here trying to figure out how to come up with $100 for rent and I decided I am going to take $50 off the rent since I had to hook up the gas so the landlord could have the gas heater looked at. I had not planned on hooking it up until October... and she did say she would pay for it, so this month she can pay for it. Then I found $38 in my paypal account. I'm still short. I never did ask my new boss to reimburse my gas money when I drove to Orange Park last weekend, so I think I will on Monday. Then rent is due Thursday. The power bill was due about 2 weeks ago, but as long as they dont shut it off before Friday, I should be able to pay it that day. I pray every night before I fall asleep that they dont shut it off before I can pay it. So far, so good. All in all, despite all my stress... I am blessed. And even though I need to pay the daycare $35 Monday to keep him enrolled, some way, somehow I will pay the damn rent. I am going to handwash my underwear and work clothes to save $10and a trip to the laundrymat and  I am going to tell Pat that he needs to make the cigs last or just quit cuz I cant afford them this week. Gas will be rationed to only driving to daycare--then to work--then back to daycare for pickup and then home. I will be praying that Pat finds a job. He has been sending out resumes and applying everywhere, with no luck so far. I have not made a single sale this week at work, but Monday I hope to have at least 2. I need about 6 or 7 sales in order to make it another week after paying the power bill.

Today I wont stress though. Not anymore anyway. I have to buy some food, figure out how to stretch $32 to the max and then, just tv and knitting for me. I do think I will do some Craigslist ads and try to sell some scooters for the rest of the week. I might work Thursday too if the boss-lady will let me. Ah, off to knit... and I will take some pictures today.

More whining... I apologize.

Sweet serenity. I have tomorrow off. This is a blessing and a curse. I have no money, and I have to do my laundry... spend my last $32 in food stamps and then I will veg out on the couch, knit and watch some stupid tv. Cable and internet is a luxury I cannot afford, however it is the only bill that is not yet overdue! I have been dilligent about calling to complain about ever little blip on the screen or every time my dvr reboots... so far I have had $32 knocked off the bill. Hey, every little bit helps, right?

I hate just sitting around whining about how broke I am, but its just hard since Pat's unemployment stopped... whenever the federal government decides to pass some bill, maybe then we can get along for a few more months. He is talking about traveling for work, maybe as far as Maryland. I am okay with the distance, but I dont know how I could keep my job and the baby in daycare if I have no transportation. Plus other annoyances, like reporting for my probation, community service hours, court dates for my upcoming custody case, buying groceries, and doctors appointments. There is a bus system here, but it makes everything a million times harder when you have to catch a bus 2 hours ahead of time in the hot sun. Plus after work, there is no way I could make it to the daycare before closing time everyday. I would have to hire a sitter to pick him up for me. The ends just dont justify the means. There are no jobs here for Pat --LOL-- or me for that matter.

The job is going well though. I am not even paid minimum wage hourly, but my commission pay is nice. The job is fairly easy, no heavy lifting or craziness. I can handle it pregnant with no problem! I am not showing yet at all, but I do notice my belly rounding out a bit. I should post a picture. I will soon I promise.

The overwhelming support from my blog readers has been so wonderful! I love you all. I dont have many friends, so even if we have never met it is nice to know I do have many folks out there who care. Whether we are family, friends in real life, friends from other internet forums or if you just found me randomly and have kept reading about my chaotic life, I appreciate hearing from you all! I have only received one letter that seemed like it might be Josh or Josh's mother trying to find out the new blog address, I am pretty careful though and I continued conversation without sending the new blog address... this "girl" never wrote me back even though she says she is a knitter and loves to see my projects and pictures of my boy. Now, it isnt that I dont believe knitters would love to see project and kiddie pictures, but this particular letter just seemed fishy. It had no mention of current crazy issues, where the rest of you had all mentioned something like, "I hope you are okay", "I wondered about you" or "I'm thinking of you"...
So yeah, I may have lost a reader, but chances are it was a letter from the enemy camp.

I'm trying to sell my projects online, I have only made $40 though. So far. I took a huge loss on that particular project though. I applied for emergency TANF funds, but chances are slim that I will get them. I called my caseworker from DCF and asked about help for rent and the power bill. He then had me fax a bunch of info, but later found out they closed my case already... so I may have to open yet another one. I dont want too, but it may be a way for me to get my name on the list for Section 8 housing. Right now there is a 2 year waiting list JUST TO APPLY. If you have an open case though you can get bumped up the list sometimes I am told. Its worth a shot. Might make the landlord happy.

beautiful forspacious skies and amber waves of grain...

I hate America and I will tell you why.

If you have money, you are lucky and you dont have to deal with my problems. I have been working for Starbucks for the last few months... this in it self is an entirely different post/rant, but let me just say, corporate America is all about keeping you just below the amount of hours you need to receive health benefits. Starbucks allows its employees to attain such benefits when you consistently slave over steamed milk 20 hours weekly. It sounded like a wonderful thing to me... until I realized that my schedule was constantly changing-- one week 20.05 hours, then 15.00 the next. It kept happening... I brought it up and was told I just needed to work harder to get the hours... I did. Nothing changed. SO I started looking for a new job.

In the meantime I am currently on food stamps and my son is on medicaid. I also get vouchers for daycare that takes off $100 from my weekly bill. I still pay $63 and change. So I am told my voucher has expired and that since I already applied online for a new one, that I have to wait 2-3 weeks to get it-- the daycare then tells me that they need the bill paid in full so that he can continue going... if not, he loses his spot. So now I have to pay $163 a week until this voucher comes into play again. Fine and dandy, but I DONT HAVE IT. So I make a million calls begging and pleading "How do I get a voucher ASAP so I can quit Starbucks and start my new job?" and they tell me to go to the ELC which stands for Early Learning Coalition... a place far below the depths of hell... not to be compared with the heaven that is the DMV... no, no, the ELC is far worse in many ways. I go there... as directed. I sign up for a walk-in appointment. I am told right away that since my voucher expired I need to apply online. I told them I have, but I need this voucher to start my new job and cannot afford the daycare costs ---AND RENT---AND my PAST DUE POWER BILL... Thank the good Lord for the food stamps!
They tell me I need to leave and that they cannot help me until the application clears in 2-3 weeks. I cry and ask what I can do? They tell me to either apply and get approved for cash assistance or get an open case with DCF. I started hollering, "Why on earth would you rather have me on welfare then working my job and getting off the damn food stamps?" "You want to keep me on welfare, dont you?" and at that point they threatened calling the police on me for disrupting the waiting room.

I drove to DCF and asked them what I can do to get the vouchers and they tell me to open a voluntary case or apply for cash assistance. So with my back up against the wall, I reluctantly do it. I am so angry about this. within 12 hours I have a woman calling me from ELC telling me to come in ASAP as they have a voucher for me. Can you believe it???

All about numbers. The state needs open cases or people on cash assistance in order to get the damn funding to keep these idiots in jobs. Nothing changed... I just agreed to let the damn state into my business for X amount of months. Now I have my voucher in the morning and I can start my job without worry, daycare rates stay at $63 a week. If that isnt enough to make you want to burn down your father's store, I dont know what is... (that was a reference from "Life Goes On").

I started training my job this weekend, but really worked in my store today... I made more money this week already than in 2 weeks at Starfucks! So sad. I cannot wait until I can say goodbye to welfare and get on with my life. It will be a struggle to pay the rent this month and I am praying they dont shut off the power until next week at least... I cannot wait until next month.

New Job.

So I started training for my new job this weekend. Seems like it will be a blast. I'm selling scooters, atv's and motorcycles. I am learning about the different models and warranty offers... and I'm riding them. I never pictured myself on a scooter... in fact, I always made fun of scooters. Getting on a few today and driving them around though, I have to say, now I'm a fan. They are not all the same. It was interesting to see the differences in models, some are minor, some major.

I have some roadblocks with this job, (literally) like some huge construction work near the shop, blocking me from potential buyers. Also, there are many competitors in town. Though, I did check them out and none of them seem to carry quality scooters and most of their warranties are a year less than ours. So small roadblocks... I can handle it.

Of course I was smart and added a work friend to my Facebook... then had to go back and delete any posts about pregnancy! Obviously, I wont be telling them until its visually obvious! I do not think it will detract from my job at all. In fact I was thinking that it could be used as a selling point. When Mr. & Mrs. Uptight come into the shop and want a scooter for their spoiled brat who is a new student at UF... any fears they have about their little precious daughter riding a scooter will go out the window if they see a pregnant chick on one!

I'm pretty excited.

Thursday.

Here we go... back to blogging after a long break.
I'm having trouble keeping this news to myself, so I may as well blog it...

I'm pregnant. My ex-husband and I reunited after being divorced since 2003 and we decided to jump right in and make a baby. It took less than 3 weeks. We are officially knocked up and excited. I have done the math and my estimated due date is February 15, 2011.

I just started a new job. I hope this wont turn out badly... but I feel like they will love me by time they find out I am going to need some maternity leave and just deal with it. (Crossing my fingers!) I actually start on Saturday... this cannot go badly. I need this job! I quit Starbucks with a huge smile on my face. It felt great. I have no regrets.

The new blog.

I have a new blog.

The old one had so many great readers... but at least one not so great reader. I am avoiding that one.

Fresh start. (more later)